


A Bond of Fate

by marvelxpendragon



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arthur-centric, Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Revealed, Protective Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26260312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelxpendragon/pseuds/marvelxpendragon
Summary: The balance of the world stands on a soul for a soul; but does that also apply to Arthur and Merlin's fates?
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 139





	A Bond of Fate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [regulusrules](https://archiveofourown.org/users/regulusrules/gifts).



Merlin stood over a high spot, his eyes skimming the battlefield, searching for Arthur. Countless dead bodies were scattered everywhere, almost covering the whole place. Many of Morgana’s men were dead, and Merlin felt his heart in his throat the longer he looked for Arthur and still found him nowhere. He descended down to where the bodies were, and looked closely, trying not to think of what was already starting to form in his mind. As he was carefully searching, he stumbled upon Mordred’s dead body, and all the alarms in his mind went off.

“Arthur?!” Merlin called out, hearing his voice echoing after him.

He sped up, searching for his king, until he found him…

Arthur was lying on the ground, his eyes closed, and Merlin could see the blood that seeped through his armour from the wound in his side. He knelt down next to him, brushing his hair out of his closed eyes. His forehead was still sweaty from the battle, but his skin was getting colder. Merlin struggled to carry Arthur back to the horses, and went to Gaius for help.

“Merlin!” The old man greeted him; relief visible in his eyes.

“Gaius, I need your help.” Merlin pleaded.

“Of course. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s—it’s not me.” Merlin shook his head. “It’s Arthur,” He whispered; tears unwillingly forming in his eyes.

“Dear lord.” Gaius breathed, and rushed with Merlin to where he left Arthur carefully situated on a horse.

Merlin stood a few steps back from them, not finding it in himself to look at him hurt. He couldn’t bear the sight of it. He couldn’t bear the fact that it happened because he wasn’t there by his side. A few seconds later, Gaius came back with a heavy expression on his face.

“Gaius, what is it?” He asked impatiently.

“The wound is deep, Merlin. A part of the blade is stuck in there.” Gaius folded his hands together, and Merlin knew that this meant that he was about to say bad news.

“The blade that injured him was no ordinary one.”

“What do you mean?” Merlin frowned.

“I’m afraid it was forged with a dragon breath.”

“Aithusa…” Merlin whispered, putting the events together.

“Merlin, you do know what this means, right?” Gaius looked up at him, his eyes searching Merlin’s terrified ones.

“No,” He shook his head. “He can’t die, Gaius.”

“And you can’t--” Gaius argued back, but Merlin cut him off.

“ _He can’t die_.” Merlin repeated himself.

“Merlin, it’s too dangerous.” Gaius tried once again.

Merlin held his gaze, confirming to Gaius and to himself, that he would do anything to save Arthur.

The old man’s shoulders fell, but as always, he managed to put up his bravest look and patted Merlin’s shoulder, trying to encourage him. But this time, he failed when his eyes teared up and he pulled Merlin into a tight hug. Merlin hugged him back just as tight, his eyes looking over Gaius’ shoulder at his wounded friend on the horse.

“Merlin.” Merlin’s heart leaped in his chest when he heard Arthur’s voice calling for him.

“Go.” Gaius smiled, letting him go.

He came up to Arthur’s side, softly running his hand up and down his thigh in a comforting manner. “Where are we going?” He asked, his eyes half open.

“We have a little trip to make.” Merlin smiled, raising his eyebrows at him.

“Wait, where have you been?”

“Well, that doesn’t matter. I’m here now, aren’t I?” Merlin cheerfully replied.

“Clearly.” He rolled his eyes, taking a bit longer to open them again.

“And you’re very pleased to see me, as well.” Merlin smiled.

“Where are you taking me, Merlin?” Arthur pushed, clearly too tired for Merlin’s humour, but his lips held a little smile to them as he asked.

“I’m kidnapping you.” Merlin answered, adjusting Arthur on his horse properly.

“I’m pretty sure that that’s a crime.” He attempted to laugh, but it ended up a hiss of pain.

“It’s okay, get some rest.” Merlin looked up at him again, his heart aching at the state Arthur was in.

Arthur’s body swayed forward, his eyes giving up on him once again. Merlin held his weight, helping him all the way down until his head was resting on the back of the horse’s neck.

“I’m going to save you, Arthur.” He whispered, more to himself than to the unconscious Arthur.

Merlin hopped onto his horse after tying Arthur’s horse to his and rode off, heading for Avalon. A day and a half later, they reached their destination. But Arthur was getting worse. Terrifyingly worse. It wasn’t until he collapsed into Merlin’s arms, his last breaths leaving him right before his eyes. Merlin begged him to fight harder, he kept telling him that they were almost there, but he was too tired. And Merlin couldn’t do anything about it.

Merlin sat next to Arthur’s body; his tears still wet on his cheeks. The pain he felt in his chest was agonising every time Arthur’s words rang in his ears. He shouldn’t have thanked him, because he didn’t do anything. He failed him. All those tries, were all for nothing, unless…

His mind went back to the conversation he had with Gaius before they left, and it felt like someone has lit the bulb in his mind. He remembered reading about a spell wit Gaius; a very powerful spell that could bring back the dead. Merlin also remembered that Gaius warned him about the book saying that only those who hold the most powerful magic can perform the spell, and that was fine, because after what happened in the Crystal Cave, Merlin became almost hundred percent sure that he was stronger than any other sorcerer.

Merlin was well aware that the spell might be stronger than what he could bear, he was aware that it might get him killed, and the look Gaius gave him when he told him that Arthur can’t die just added to the realisation. Merlin wiped away his tears and brought himself up to his knees. He extended his hands in front of him, palms down, facing Arthur’s body. He started saying the words to the spell, feeling the vibrations of its power in his body, his hands shaking in the process. He was halfway through it, when suddenly, his eyes just dimmed back to their blue colour, and the vibration he felt inside him was gone as fast as a candle being blown. 

Merlin looked at his hands in confusion, before he tried once again. He knew that the spell was powerful, but he could make it, right?

Once, twice, three times, and it didn’t work. After the fourth attempt, Merlin let out a scream in frustration, his eyes glaring up at the sky as if it was the reason behind what was happening. He sat back again and brought his knees up to his chest, fresh tears burning at his eyes as he stared at Arthur.

“This is wrong.” He whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek.

He was failing. Again. And this time, Arthur was not by his side to throw a sarcastic comment to lift his spirits. Arthur was not awake to tell him that he was doing his best. Arthur was not alive. And it was all his fault.

“I failed you.” Merlin shrugged, more tears pouring out of his eyes. “And I can’t seem to stop doing it!” He yelled; his voice hoarse from crying.

“I know you can hear me, Arthur.” His lips shakily smiled. “At least that’s what I’d like to think.” He looked down at his feet; teardrops falling onto the grass.

“I’ll do it. I know I will.” He sniffed, wiping his nose with his sleeve. “I just—” He paused, a sob escaping his throat.

“I wanted to tell you that,” He composed himself and knelt down next to Arthur’s ear. “I will always be with you.” He pulled back a bit, taking one last look at his face, as if he was studying his features.

He caressed his cold cheek with his hand, before he placed the other on his chest, right above his heart and tried one last time, to bring his once and future king back to life.

\--

Arthur’s eyes flew open with a long gasp of air that caused him to cough a few times before his lungs adjusted to his breathing. He laid still on his back, trying to remember what happened. He remembers Morgana sending her men to his. He remembers when he saw the old sorcerer with his staff in the middle of the fight. He remembers what happened between him and Mordred. He remembers when Merlin told him about his true self—

_Merlin._

Arthur carefully sat up, but surprisingly, he felt no pain where he was once injured. Out of all the things he remembers, a horrible memory clouded his mind, pushing itself to the very top of his memory.

He died.

He died in Merlin’s arms; but now, he was very much alive. It made no sense to Arthur. How can someone die and then come back alive as if nothing ever happened? Unless, unless it was magic.

Arthur looked around for Merlin, his heart hammering in his chest, reminding him once again that he was alive and well. But this wasn’t his concern right now. His eyes searched the wide green field for his friend, until they landed on him. Arthur’s blood ran cold when he spotted Merlin in the distance, lying still, unmoving. He ran towards him, panic overpowering any other emotion he should be feeling right now. He reached where Merlin was and immediately crouched down to his knees, his hands going up to Merlin’s face.

“Merlin?” Arthur called, his hand tapping his manservant’s cheek. Merlin made no movement, which only added to his increasing fear.

“Merlin, come on, now is not the time for this.” Arthur said again, tapping his cheek once more, but still Merlin gave no response.

Arthur waited a few seconds, before he did something he knew he should have done the second he saw Merlin sprawled out on the grass, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He took off his black leather gloves, preparing himself. He checked his pulse. Arthur placed two fingers right below Merlin’s ear. His skin was as cold as ice against his touch, but that wasn’t what struck Arthur with fear.

It was the silence. The absence of a heartbeat that was once there; that was supposed to be there when Arthur was checking.

“Merlin,” Arthur whispered in disbelief, looking down at his peaceful features.

“What did you do, you idiot?” Arthur asked, trying his hardest not to let his voice break by gritting his teeth.

“You couldn’t just let me die, could you?” He half-heartedly joked, his heart in immeasurable pain as he spoke his words.

Arthur surprised himself by sitting back, and pulling Merlin towards him, so that his upper body was cradled in his arms and the top of his head right under Arthur’s chin. He looked so peaceful that it hurt. His face was paler than he already was, his soft black hair covering the top of his forehead, and his eyelids peacefully closed, shielding his deep blue eyes that matched Arthur’s.

“Of course, you had to save me one last time.” Arthur weakly smiled, feeling the tears start to burn at his eyes.

The idea of Merlin attempting to save him one more time, _one last time_ , knowing he would die in advance was enough to break Arthur. He hated it. He hated the fact that he was the reason why one of the dearest people to him died.

“Why?” Arthur whispered, unable to find his voice. “You weren’t supposed to die!” He suddenly yelled, looking down at Merlin as a tear drop fell on his forehead.

Arthur finally sobbed, his heart writhing in pain with every memory that hit him as he held Merlin in his arms. His mind went back to every time Merlin mentioned that he saved his life, and he so stupidly insulted him in return. He remembered when he so willingly and so loyally told him that he was born to serve him. Arthur couldn’t believe it, because how could someone be this devoted to a person who never did them good enough? His mind went back to when Merlin revealed his abilities to him. It hurt him more than ever, that Merlin kept it from him, that he was too afraid of Arthur’s reaction if he had told him.

It hurt him that he once thought Arthur could ever harm him. He could never. But all of that didn’t matter now. Because Merlin is gone.

Merlin was more than a good friend to him. He was too good of a company that Arthur didn’t realise how much he had become attached to Merlin’s presence. Until now.

“I hate you, you know.” Arthur admitted, wiping away his tears.

“I hate you for leaving me like that.” He repeated, the words sounding so painful to him as he said them, causing his voice to croak at the end.

Arthur has never been in so much pain like this. Even after his father’s death. He has always lived, knowing that there will come a day when he would become king, and that meant the passing of his father. But Arthur never thought about losing Merlin. It just wasn’t right. Merlin’s rightful place is by Arthur’s side.

“You should have let me die, Merlin. I cannot survive ruling Camelot without you.” Arthur shook his head, wiping the trail of tears that fell on Merlin’s forehead.

He stayed silent for a few minutes, staring down at Merlin, so many thoughts spinning in his head. Merlin has always believed in Arthur. Always. Even when Arthur made the worst decisions, he would still make him feel like he was the greatest king to ever walk this earth, while in fact, _he_ was something far greater than that. Merlin was the most powerful sorcerer of his time, and he died using his powers to save Arthur. And that must not go unnoticed. In all the years he and Merlin lived together, Merlin always fought by his side against _his own kind_. He has lived to watch people of his kind getting executed, and he never said a word.

Arthur wiped his tears dry and took a deep breath, looking around him, before he fixed his gaze back to Merlin. He hesitantly leaned in and planted a fervent kiss to Merlin’s forehead. His lips trembled as he tried not to cry again when he felt his cold skin under his warm lips, and pulled away all too quickly, not bearing the feeling.

“I promise you,” He held his head in his hands as he spoke. “Your death will not be in vain, Merlin.”

Arthur slowly got up, and carried Merlin in his arms, heading back to where the horses have been all this time. _Where Merlin left them._ Arthur shook his head, thinking to himself that if he kept thinking like that the whole day, he wouldn’t be able to survive, ever. Arthur sat Merlin on his horse and jumped after him, refusing to ride alone and let him trail behind. He rode back to Camelot, taking all the shortcuts he knew to arrive as fast as he could. Arthur managed to reach Camelot before it got dark, which made it worse for him when he arrived at the citadel. His knights were standing at the top of the stairs while Gwen stood a few steps lower, and Gaius was standing next to her. They all looked tired and scared.

Arthur saw the relief on their faces when they saw him alive and well, before it drastically changed into a look of shock and sorrow when their eyes landed on Merlin. Gwen ran to him, hugging him tight. He hugged her back and let himself embrace the moment of comfort that he very much needed. He felt her body shake in his grasp as she cried over her dear friend. Arthur held back his tears, trying not to let himself break down again. At least not in front of all of them. He couldn’t. There is only one person who deserved to see him at his worst, and that person is long gone, now.

Gaius came after Gwen, his face sadder than Arthur has ever seen him, but he wasn’t crying. He softly patted Gwen’s back and pulled her away from him, reading Arthur’s mind. His knights have descended down the stairs, their faces holding so much grief over Merlin. It was hard not to grieve over his death. Merlin was everyone’s friend. He was good to everyone. No one ever hated him, and so his death was a shock for all of them. Gwaine and Leon came forward, each of them briefly hugging Arthur before they waited for him to say anything about what they should do. Gwaine looked like he was barely holding back his tears, blinking rapidly every second, but he couldn’t control his trembling lips when he spoke. While Leon on the other hand, tried to keep a straight face, although his forehead was deeply creased.

“Make sure he gets a proper burial.” Arthur said, quieter than he intended. “The funeral is to be held first thing in the morning.” He couldn’t believe what he was saying. He couldn’t process that it was Merlin he was talking about.

Leon and Gwaine nodded and went to carry Merlin away from the back of the horse. Elyan and Percival also greeted him and expressed their relief that their king is well, admitting how sorry they were for what happened to Merlin. Gaius has disappeared after he escorted Gwen back into the citadel, and Arthur assumed that he was probably in his chambers. He heavily took the steps up to it and headed for Gaius’ room, and was relieved when he saw him in there, sitting on his bed.

“Glad to see you well, sire.” He forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Likewise, Gaius.” Arthur answered, squeezing the man’s shoulder.

Awkward silence filled the air between them, before Arthur broke it. He pulled a chair from the side and sat down across from him. “You knew he was going to do it, didn’t you?”

Gaius broke their eye contact, looking down at his hands that were folded in his lap, answering Arthur’s question.

“And yet you didn’t stop him.” Arthur was aware that his gaze was harsh, and that was why Gaius found it hard to look him in the eye when he blamed him.

“No one could have ever stopped him, Arthur. Not even you.” Gaius replied, as a matter of fact.

“You know, he warned me about Mordred. More than once.” Arthur remembered. “He told me not to trust him, and all I did was the exact opposite.”

“You did what you thought was right, sire.” Gaius assured. “What Merlin did was his choice, not mine, not yours, but his. And you must honour his death.”

“Yeah, about that.” Arthur said, shifting in his seat.

“I told Gwaine and Leon that the funeral is tomorrow; the preparations shall start tonight. It will be a public funeral.”

“Sire, I’m afraid I don’t—”

“I’m lifting the ban of magic in Camelot, Gaius. In honour of Merlin’s sacrifice.” Arthur announced, watching Gaius’ shocked reaction.

“Arthur, that’s—”

“The least I can do.” Arthur shrugged. “Merlin lived his life in fear of being himself, and I know, more than anything, that he wouldn’t want anyone else to experience this ever again.”

“You’re a great king, Arthur.” Gaius smiled. “You always were, and you always will be.”

Arthur just smiled back, not finding any right words to reply with, so he stood up and quietly excused himself. He was about to open the door when Gaius’ voice stopped him. “Sire, wait.” He approached him quickly with a small bottle in his hand.

He handed the bottle to Arthur, “It will help you sleep tonight.” He knowingly smiled; his smile tainted with sadness.

“Thank you, Gaius.” Arthur nodded, smiling back, before he left.

He ran into Gwaine on his way to his room and asked him to let the others spread the news that Merlin’s funeral shall be attended by anyone who wishes to. He also asked him to inform the court members that they will have to come tomorrow, because he has important news to announce. Gwaine just nodded, not asking anything in return.

“It’s good to have you back, Arthur.” His loyal knight shook his arm. His eyes were bloodshot, signalling that he has had his fair share of crying, yet he still managed to genuinely smile at Arthur as they talked.

“Thanks, Gwaine.” Arthur shook back his arm in appreciation.

“He might not be physically with us, but I know that he’s here somehow. Merlin would never leave you.” Gwaine smiled. “Even as a ghost.” He lightly joked, bringing a small smile to Arthur’s lips.

“Yeah, he wouldn’t be Merlin if he left, huh?” Arthur looked down at his feet, a habit of his.

“Yeah.” Gwaine smiled back. “Get some sleep, you probably need it more than anything now.” Arthur nodded, not really sure if he will be able to sleep tonight.

“See you in the morning.” Gwaine said and walked away.

The walk back to his chambers was as painful as having multiple daggers being dug into his skin, over and over again. The halls felt empty without Merlin trailing behind him. It was uncomfortably quiet and Arthur hated it. It wasn’t until he walked into his chambers that the memories came flooding back, hitting him like an inescapable wave. His eyes landed on his neatly made bed, the image of Merlin making it never leaving his sight. His presence marked every corner in the room, making it almost impossible for Arthur to stay in it. He sat on his bed and closed his eyes, trying not to look around him, furthermore. But then Merlin’s face flashed across his closed eyes, causing them to burn with new tears.

He reopened his eyes and got up, blinking away the tears. He decided to take a bath, drink the sleeping draught Gaius gave him and try to get some sleep before the big day tomorrow. After his bath, which unfortunately didn’t wash away everything that today has left in him, he stood in front of his mirror and stared at his shirtless figure. His eyes looked hollow; his lower eyelids lined with red from the amount of crying he endured today. His eyes travelled down to his torso, where there was a faint scar on his left side. His fingers lightly traced it, imagining Merlin trying his hardest to bring him back just as new. Arthur wasn’t bothered by the scar, in fact, he was happy that it was there, because it reminded him of what happened. It reminded him of the reason why he is still alive; it reminded him of Merlin, and the fact that he actually couldn’t last a day without him.

Arthur turned his back to the mirror and headed back to his bed with a heavy heart. He gulped down the potion Gaius gave him and closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep without any more tormenting memories.

The next morning, he woke up on his own, before the guards knocked on his doors. Gaius was the one who helped him dress up, both of them silent throughout the whole time.

“Thanks, Gaius.” Arthur whispered, realising that this was not Gaius’ place to dress him up, and he was probably burdening him at the mean time.

“Sire.” Gaius nodded respectfully and stepped back.

The doors to his chambers opened, revealing Leon. “It is time, sire. Everyone is waiting for the king.” He hesitantly announced.

Arthur strapped his red cape over his shoulders, adjusting it in place. He looked at both Gaius and Leon, before he started walking with them out of his chambers. “Then we shall not keep them waiting for long.”

Arthur steadily walked with Leon and Gaius quietly following behind. His heart heavily thumped in his chest, already feeling like he wouldn’t be able to see what awaits him out there. They finally reached the main observing spot where official statements were announced to the people of Camelot in the Public Square. He spotted the court members standing aside. He curtly nodded at them before he exchanged a look with his knights that stood on either side of him, while Gaius stood a few steps back behind him. Arthur stepped forward, standing ahead of all of them. He rested his hands on the rail and let his eyes look down.

He sucked in a deep breath when he saw Merlin’s body lying down there. Everything was set up as he ordered, and even better. It almost looked like he was just asleep in bed. Arthur cleared his throat and looked back at the hundreds of people who were gathered today. He raised his chin up, putting on a brave look for those around him. He couldn’t let them see him mourn, even if his next words painfully clawed their way out of his heart. He glanced at Gaius, who nodded at him encouragingly, before he spoke.

“People of Camelot,” He addressed, his eyes roaming the crowd.

“It is with a heavy heart, that I announce the death of a true knight, not precisely to Camelot but to me.” His voice was loud and clear as he intended for it to be.

“It is because of Merlin, that I stand here before you today. And under these circumstances, the rules of Camelot are to be amended, effective immediately.”

Arthur watched as the people started to whisper and give each other questioning looks.

“From this day on, magic is allowed in Camelot.” Multiple gasps reached Arthur’s ears, even those of the court members who stood not too far from him.

“Those who hold the power to do good deeds shall no longer live in fear. Nevertheless,” Arthur held up a finger. “If anyone was caught performing dark magic, they would be seized on the spot!” He glared down at everyone as he made himself clear, not wanting to deal with any type of dark magic ever again.

“For magic does not always have to be evil.” Arthur repeated Merlin’s words, ignoring the lump that threatened to grow in his throat.

Silence filled the air around him, shock and disbelief plastered on the face of every person who stood in his presence. His eyes glanced sideways at his knights, who were just as shocked, before Gwaine stepped forward with a solid expression on his face, and drew his sword, pointing it up towards the sky.

“Long live the king!” He shouted, his deep voice full of loyalty and admiration towards Arthur, and he wondered if he, too, knew about Merlin.

Percival followed, and then the rest of his knights. It was a matter of seconds before everyone around him was chanting, “Long live the king! Long live the king!”

Arthur’s eyes darted back down to the people of his kingdom whose eyes were now full of hope, bringing the slightest bit of warmth to his heart. He couldn’t help but wish that Merlin could be here to witness what Arthur knew he once wished for. He might have lived his life clinging to the hope that maybe things could change, and Arthur hated himself for every time he crushed that hope for Merlin by his hatred for magic.

If only he could see the happiness in those people’s eyes. If only he was standing right where Arthur was looking over his shoulder, with one of his from-ear-to-ear grins to approve of what he did. The reason for the happiness of his kingdom now, wasn’t him. The reason was Merlin, and Arthur was sure, that wherever he is right now, he is happy. The sun glazed down at Merlin’s face as he laid there, making him seem like an angel in Arthur’s eyes. Arthur’s lips slightly twitched, quirking up in a smile at the sight, before he looked up at the bright blue sky with only one thought in his mind.

_For you, Merlin. Only for you._


End file.
